“Thou hast to be kidding.”
Critics: Anthony Lane on The Scarlet Letter (1995), The New Yorker
“Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women”
Bee-Dot-Govern on The Mountain Three Wolf Moon T-shirt, Amazon
Quote of the day, 13 October. Share it
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“It is decorated in various shades of taupe, biscuit and fuck you. There's a little gilt here and there, to remind us that this is a room designed for people for whom guilt is unfamiliar.”
Critics: Jay Rayner on Le Cinq, Paris (2017), The Observer
“It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways. Now I question everything I thought I once knew and fear I am no longer capable of following through with my primary objective. I know that those who sent me will not relent. They will send others in my place… But we will be ready”
Customer reviews: ByronicHero on Accoutrements Horse Head Mask, Amazon
“Let me tell you we should rename it medium Ben. I’ve seen bigger LEGO towers! (I) will return if they build it higher.”
Customer reviews: Aimee T on Big Ben, London, TripAdvisor
“So leave locking to the pro's. They _also_ got it wrong, but they got it wrong several years ago, and fixed up their sh*t.”
Code review: Anonymous reviewer on Patch to an operating system kernel
“I hate code that has #ifdef's. It's a major design mistake, and shows that the person who coded it didn't think of it as _one_ problem, but as two.”
Code review: Anonymous reviewer on Patch to an operating system kernel
“LGTM ! Only 1M line changed, approved.”
Code review: Anonymous reviewer on Pull request in an open-source project
“Reject – More holes than my grandad’s string vest!”
Peer review: Anonymous reviewer on Manuscript under review, A journal in microbiology
“The lack of negative controls … results in the authors being lost in the funhouse. Unfortunately, I do not think they even realize this.”
Peer review: Anonymous reviewer on Manuscript under review, A journal in microbiology
“the authors seem to be reinventing the wheel and a flat tire to go along with it.”
Peer review: Anonymous reviewer on Manuscript under review
“And by "garbage" I really mean it. This is stuff that nobody should ever send me, never mind late in a merge window.”
Code review: Anonymous reviewer on Pull request to an operating system kernel
“I cannot imagine any physician or scientist who has a job, who will have the time to read this paper.”
Peer review: Anonymous reviewer on Manuscript under review, A journal in medicine
“For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well … my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives.”
Customer reviews: SW3K on Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, Amazon
“Sie schildern ein Treffen mit Uwe Johnson. Sie schildern es wunderbar. Das kann keiner besser als Sie. Aber es sind nur fünf Seiten von 781.”
Critics: Marcel Reich-Ranicki on Ein weites Feld by Günter Grass (1995), Der Spiegel (in German)
“If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), Chicago Sun-Times
“That makes ‘Hellbound: Hellraiser II’ an ideal movie for audiences with little taste and atrophied attention spans who want to glance at the screen occasionally and ascertain that something is still happening up there. If you fit that description, you have probably not read this far, but what the heck, we believe in full-service reviews around here. You’re welcome.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), Chicago Sun-Times
“‘Battlefield Earth’ is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way.”
Critics: Roger Ebert on Battlefield Earth (2000), Chicago Sun-Times
“It's terrible, though in such a bizarre way, unique even, that it might have prospects as a cult book, or at any rate an enduring curiosity. But I wouldn't bet on it.”
Critics: Owen Richardson on List of the Lost by Morrissey (2015), The Sydney Morning Herald
“Finally! For years I've had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever).”
Customer reviews: breemeup on BIC Cristal For Her ballpoint pen, Amazon
“I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.”
Customer reviews: Anonymous reviewer on Uranium Ore, Amazon